How To Holistically Heal… From A Fawn Response To Stress

When People Pleasing & Blurred Boundaries Becomes Your Coping Mechanism

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In this edition…

1. HEALING: When People Pleasing & Blurred Boundaries Becomes Your Coping Mechanism

2. REVERENCE: What Triggers Your Fawn Response To Stress?

3. EXPLORING: Feeling & Meeting Your Fawn Response

1. HEALING: When People Pleasing & Blurred Boundaries Becomes Your Coping Mechanism

In last week's newsletter, we explored the Freeze response to stress. Now, let's dive deep into the fawn response to stress.

The fawn response is a behavioural reaction to perceived threats, characterised by people-pleasing behaviours aimed at appeasing others to avoid conflict or harm. Unlike the traditional fight, flight, and freeze responses, which involve confrontation, avoidance, or immobilisation, the fawn response entails compliance and submission as a means of self-protection.

The concept of the fawn response was introduced by psychotherapist Pete Walker, who specialises in complex trauma. In his work, Walker identified fawning as the fourth "F" in trauma responses, alongside fight or flight, and freeze. He observed that individuals, particularly those who have experienced prolonged relational trauma, often develop fawning behaviours as a survival mechanism to maintain safety and connection in threatening environments. 

While the fight or flight, and freeze responses are immediate reactions to danger, the fawn response is more relational and involves ingratiating behaviours to pacify a threat. This response is common among individuals who have endured chronic abuse or neglect, leading them to prioritise others' needs over their own to avoid conflict or further harm. 

Characteristics of the Fawn Response

Individuals exhibiting the fawn response may display the following behaviours:

• People-Pleasing: Constantly seeking approval and validation from others.

• Difficulty Saying No: Struggling to set boundaries or refuse requests.

• Neglecting Personal Needs: Prioritising others' needs at the expense of their own well-being.

• Suppression of Emotions: Hiding true feelings to maintain harmony.

How Fawn Shows Up In The Mind & Body